What Can I Learn From This

How did you first encounter Buddhism?

To talk almost that I need to go into how I starting time began to meditate in general. I had a kind of intense inner life when I was a kid….maybe because of a difficult home life I was drawn to stay within, to stay quite inward.

In that location was a kind of orientation to concentrate on different objects or be present with things in a certain way. I spent a lot of time alone and there was a sense of trying to utilize what was around me. In other words, I was brought upward Catholic and I worked with a particular do of trying to encounter Christ in everybody that I met.

Not that it was easy! But it was very powerful…it was a very clear way inside to something.

And so it was very rich internally and difficult externally. I was really lone in information technology. I was really quite isolated, and I wanted somebody to talk to about these things, but clearly in suburban Due east Haven, Connecticut, at that place was no one to talk almost information technology with. But I think that kind of isolation, or alienation, helped me. Although it was difficult, I think it helped to create a certain kind of self-reliance and independence, and I would say also the recognition that suffering is how things are….that what I was experiencing wasn't different than what is experienced in having a human being body or having a homo life. In that location was some sense of dukkha (suffering) as beingness natural, that natural state of things. Of form, it was a big problem to speak about information technology — I got into a lot of trouble. Everyone effectually me was proverb, "No, you can't talk about these things; everything's fine….we're a happy family, it's a happy country, everybody'south happy. Why are y'all dwelling on these negative things?" Talking about suffering was a serious taboo. Perchance that'southward why I talk about it so much at present!

Information technology'due south rewarding to encounter people'due south feel change — seeing transformation is a privilege.

This is when yous encountered vipassana?

I did have a do where I got up at 5:00 every morning, practiced yoga, and chanted with this grouping of people. It was very helpful. I somewhen reached a bespeak of limitation with that path, all the same. The community had broken upward to some extent, so that was one aspect of having to find something else…but I would besides say I wanted something a lilliputian simpler. The Kundalini involved a lot of clothing and other forms—I wanted something simpler and more contemplative.

Yeah. When I came to vipassana —which was in my early twenties — I was incredibly delighted to find out that people were going abroad and living in silence for three months at a fourth dimension at IMS, without having to be a monk or nun. To exist able to alive seeing that kind of a life for three months was incredibly inspiring to me. I really thought, "Ah, this is what I want!" There was this deep yearning for silence—and, I would say, sanity. And then I began with weekends and sitting in a daily way, and then, shortly after, sat my first three-month retreat at the Insight Meditation Society.

I experience like my starting to practise was very natural; information technology began a long, long time ago and when I came to vipassana information technology was just like dwelling. I had a sense of finally finding something that truly resonated on all levels. It seemed at that place was nothing extra added; the whole idea was simply to be with things every bit they are. Instead of adding on, the idea was to just let become and see that there was something inside that was really information technology. Then it didn't feel like a process of discovering anything, it felt similar the process of practicing some things when I was a child, merely at present I was practicing something else when I was a little flake older. The Kundalini practice, the Catholicism—all of it felt actually rich. And then vipassana was similar all of it, but in a very stripped-down version. So I grew into it in a way, like I was encountering the aforementioned thing as I encountered when I was eight years old.

Hither were other people acknowledging dukkha ?

Exactly. It had that eight-twelvemonth-old's recognition of the sense of "Finally, somebody's telling the truth," in that "Life is dukkha" and "Information technology's not all that there is…there is a way out." Then when I encountered vipassana, and that was its initial premise, it was an enormous relief to feel similar I was being joined by others who were seeing what I was seeing.

Y ou are a steady presence at CIMC [Cambridge Insight Meditation Center] and 1 of the primary teachers there. How would yous describe your role?

Well I've been at CIMC since its beginning in 1985, so it's ten years at present, and my role and responsibilities take changed as the Center has changed and as I take changed. For one matter, when I began, fewer people were coming to the Center.

An aspect of my role at CIMC is to connect the classical teachings of the Buddha with the questions and challenges of everyday life. I offer a multifariousness of practice groups, talks, and retreats that explore specific Buddhist themes and teachings, such as metta, wise voice communication, the refuges, and the five hindrances.

In that location has been a growing need to respond to older yogis in a more specific manner. In the past year, I offered a parami group for older yogis only. In this group, we took upwardly each of the ten paramis over a 25-week menstruum.

How does that investigation work?

I'g big on homework! For example, in the "wise spoken language" group, we explored one attribute of wise speech each calendar week. In betwixt meetings, yogis were invited to pay detail attending to that i aspect. One week it was truthfulness of speech, the next calendar week information technology was gossip, and and then forth.

As well, quite a chip of my effort is focused on nurturing the organization of CIMC on a daily basis as it changes and evolves. It always surprises me that although CIMC is relatively small, it requires lots of attention and care to keep information technology simple and to nurture its contemplative environment. Organizations seem to naturally tend towards proliferation and expansion and to remember that more (of anything!) is ameliorate. The vision of CIMC is to offer an surroundings of simplicity and a refuge in which inner freedom can abound.

What are the most rewarding aspects of your work?

Something I detect enormously rewarding is working with people over the long term. I really love that; I love not popping in and out. I choose this kind of teaching over the model of moving from place to place. Although I love longer retreats, and I love teaching at IMS, for a long-term, steady, day-to-24-hour interval kind of existence I experience much more grounded in this setting. It'due south expert for me: beingness in a relationship, living close to CIMC, friends effectually, community around. Information technology'south very good for me; it's a very grounded way to be. And information technology feels completely integrated. There are non any parts that want to exist off and running somewhere else.

It's been rewarding to come across a community grow over the final 10 years—information technology was very different 10 years agone than information technology is now. Simply more than community, considering communities come up together and dissipate, it's rewarding to see people'south experience change. Seeing transformation is a privilege. Information technology's just extraordinary to see how powerful the teaching is. I feel so grateful to exist able to offer something that I know works. To encounter people use it to change and grow is simply an unbelievable gift. So I'd say that's the extraordinary attribute of this teaching.

How about with respect to the women members at the Center? I have a sense that you have a special role there.

I think that for some women it's important that there is a adult female teaching, because and so many of the models in the past have been male. I know it'southward been helpful for me. I too recall it's important for women practitioners to accept women teachers and colleagues interpreting the teaching, because women accept such a full presence at CIMC as well as in well-nigh vipassana centers I know nearly.

Since CIMC is non a rural retreat setting would you lot like to say any matter about the special challenges or opportunities associated with teaching vipassana in an urban surroundings?

Well, information technology's really, actually different, conspicuously, than the conditions in a retreat setting such every bit Barre. Nosotros hear fire engines becomeing down the street. We hear rap music. Audio is a huge dimension that's very unlike. I similar to think that if you lot can practice in this environment—and keep the listen calm and steady and enquire into your experience—then when you're in a setting where silence is more natural and y'all're hearing more natural sounds you have less trouble.

I besides think information technology offers u.s.a. an opportunity—right from the offset of our practise—to see everything equally practice. This tin can be a problem if your offset model is retreats. So you're either on retreat or you're off retreat…. And "off retreat" means trying to become back "on retreat," because beingness on retreat is very unlike than existence off retreat. I think this perspective of practice is minimized when you brainstorm your exercise in an urban setting.

There, right from the get-go, you lot take to see everything, every single moment, as do or y'all're not going to survive. Now, I'm not saying that it's so great, because, obviously, information technology'southward wonderful to be in nature. Having a natural silence helps enormously. But I recall having a perspective of inclusiveness and lack of fragmentation right from the commencement of practice—of everything being practice (livelihood, relationships, pressures of everyday life, etc.)—helps things as 1 goes forth.

On the other hand, intensive silent retreats have been and go along to exist an essential attribute of my ain practice. The silence and simplicity of retreat life, every bit well as the letting go of the pressures and responsibilities of everyday life, tin can be invaluable as a way to deepen one's understanding of how things are. Many yogis in Cambridge balance their do in the urban center with retreats at IMS.

Ane of the challenges of practicing in an urban environment is to develop and value calmness of mind. In the culture of a city, there are very few external supports for at-home and repose. An important attribute of teaching in the urban center is a focus on encouraging yogis to develop concentration, equanimity, and tranquility. In Cambridge, people tend to accept strong investigative minds and demand the depth and strength of heart that develops out of a daily practise. You would call up, existence in an academic community, that we would go a lot of theoretical or simply intellectual questions. And even from the beginning information technology's been that way. We get questions like, "I'm suffering. What can I do about information technology?" This is something I love well-nigh CIMC.

You were married not likewise long agone, and your husband, Michael, is also a serious practitioner of meditation. Does this shared interest contribute in some unique ways to the nature of your common relationship? Does the fact that you bothpractice make "the human relationship thing" any easier to practise?

There is no doubt that practice makes information technology easier to exist in human relationship…no doubt about that at all. Being in a relationship with someone who practices (or not, for that matter—I don't want to confine it in that way) gives one this wider perspective, where y'all are not counting on being saved by the other person. You are too not depending on the other person to make yous happy. Which is really a huge thing, I think. You're supported and loved past the other person, and self-reliant also. Then practice gives ane a bigger film where there is a shared perspective on what human relationship can and cannot do in terms of liberation or inner peace, rather than culturally-based expectations that the other person is responsible for your happiness.

I also think that being in relationship can help practice because you can teach one another different things. You can add your perspective of practice to the other person'due south. In that location is an intimacy in sharing practice that can expand 1's own vision or i'south own style of working in practice.

And so being in a relationship is the right class for me—I have no doubt well-nigh that. But I don't encounter it every bit the only way to get free. Information technology's simply a form. And if it's the right form for yous, it can exist used in an extraordinarily helpful way to wake up. But only if information technology'south the correct form for you lot.

There is such an emphasis placed on intimate relationships in this culture that sometimes people feel that if they're not in a relationship information technology's a personal failure. But information technology's really only a form—it depends on how it is used. If you utilize it in a right way it tin can help enormously, considering you have that mirror right there for you. I also think a shared dharma orientation helps when conflicts come up upwards, because there is less of a trend to blame the other for the conflict.

If both people are committed to finding liberty within themselves, then when you become into something information technology'due south not only, "I want my ain way," or "I want y'all to stop doing this to me." The fundamental approach is, "What tin can I learn from this?" If both people (it'due south actually hard if it's only one person) have the perspective of "What can I larn from this?" it makes for a happy relationship. It also pushes one to feel the strong emotions—not suppressing them and non being destructive, but making room for them, in trust and love, with the other person. It allows for a real change of center to occur, where you don't take to be so afraid, so intimidated or lost in emotions.